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Posts Tagged ‘musings’

All you can do

April 30, 2010 Leave a comment

What's wrong?The last couple of days my mood has been bobbing up and down a bit. The highs have been moderate but predominant (southwesterly in the frontal lobe), the lows have been short-lived but unexpected. Yesterday I had an episode that involved feeling perplexion, humiliation and irritation all flat-packed into one compact emotion. Throughout the afternoon, a bitterness lingered like pins and needles, even though I had forgotten most of what had caused the original feeling (there comes the perplexion again – “why do these things happen to me?”). As I couldn’t find a way to shake it off, I grew more and more agitated, still clueless as to the why and the how.

Later on in the day, a ray of sunshine (both literal and figurative) left me feeling cool and contented, because everything was alright after all. For some reason, I just started smiling, on the bus home. Looking out of the window at the same old streets, I had just finished ruminating the day’s fresh events. It occurred to me, as it often has on previous occasions, that laughter is the best thing ever. It’s all we can do in the face of absurdity. It’s the only thing that will make things better, as laughter can never be bad (no, evil cackles don’t count). Good, honest abandonment and escapism. Acceptance and “what the heck”. There is always a smile and a (luke)warm feeling to be dug out of every situation.

Sometimes, though, a bit more digging is needed.

And sometimes, no matter how much you dig and how many laughs you find along the way, you won’t be at ease until you’ve unearthed the root you stumbled over in the first place.

Make any sense?

Scattered

April 28, 2010 Leave a comment

Mad as a hatter,

I’m not ideal

Or anything like it,

For that matter.

Who knows where one day

These scattered thoughts may converge

Or part ways forever,

Dispersing through the cosmos.

Meaningless, they are after all.

Only by fighting like a mule

Can I try to stop their fall.

By giving them some sense

Even if I know they’ve none

At all! Alas, I crawl

Into the cave of ignorance

Where I do not want to stay.

I was born under the sun

(Albeit a weakling one)

And I shall not be allowed to regress,

Day by day, into the shadows

Where so many lay, and lie.

Let the battle commence, let it rage

Against the beast that lurks unscathed

The hideous insidious, hated heathen

Guardian of the feeble reservations

(Mine is fear).

Categories: Poetry Tags: , , ,

Letting go

April 25, 2010 1 comment

Do not let obsession

Ruin the flow of the mo’,

Keep doing what you know that you know

And go along with the rolling

Of whatever stone that you’ve thrown.

Instructions and orders without borders,

Too many and your mind will just blow.

Allow, control, remove the mould

And the hold that restricts the goal.

Just one goal, one hope,

Anything else is a load

To the senses and the sense of a self,

To the matter in the brain

And its endless end of cells.

To uphold a vision, beware, the envision

Is a mould and a boulder in a door.

Instead of the moan, the loneliness,

Let the demon enter and escape.

Envision the dream then let it go

Through the open door of a senseless self.