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Accountability (I’ll procrastinate later)

April 25, 2010 Leave a comment

The idea of this blog is simple. It is about ending my pathetic penchant for procrastination and forcing me to do what I really really want to do: write.

For years I have known that I love to write, and I’ve scribbled or typed little bits now and then, sometimes randomly, sometimes moved by particular episodes of rage, sadness or confusion. But never by fear, because although fear is always within me, it is the very thing that is holding me back from writing as often as I should. Fear of being imperfect, fear of wasting my time, of writing worthless drivel, of never reaching to the depth of the matter. It is the reason I procrastinate on so many things in my life. I have “written” more words in my mind, in idle fantasy, than I have actually laid down on paper or on screen, planning endless stories, poems and even entire novels that I would one day (just not today) surely write.

Now I’m fed up with that. I want to actually do it, not just think about doing it. At this point I don’t care if everything I write is crap, or even unintelligible, I just need to: a) get started and b) keep going. Writing in a blog is thus an attempt to give myself some accountability, in the sense that I’d better write something regularly because if I don’t, if just one person reads it and realises that I haven’t been posting anything for a while, then the losses are (supposedly) greater than if my failure remains between myself and yours truly. Ultimately and above all, developing a writing habit is my attempt – no, struggle – to end the gradual descent into meaninglessness that my daily life has initiated as a result of my fear-driven avoidance of anything that requires the slightest bit of effort.

I’m just going to post my musings and modest creations here as often as I can. Needless to say, I welcome any comments and feedback and if I don’t post at least once a week — shame on me!

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Categories: Uncategorized